A Wedding Toast

Congrats Brian and Kelley! What a great wedding/party. EVERYONE had tons of fun, from the golf carts to watching you striptease for Kelley on the dance floor… Love it!

The Best man speech I gave at my buddy Brian’s wedding yesterday:

Ladies and gentlemen. It takes a strong and intelligent man to realize his dreams and achieve his goals in life and love. A man not afraid to live life to its fullest and embrace what is truly important. But enough about me… I’m here to talk about Brian and Kelley.

I’ve known Brian most of my life. We lived just a few miles apart. That might sound like a lot, but in Marion it’s really only like 3 houses. Later we were college roommates so naturally I know a lot about Brian, most of which is not appropriate for this type of setting so I’ll try to keep it clean.

Once Brian had a car Jeff and I never left his side. Mostly because we needed a ride. The first time we went out, we made it maybe a mile down the street, when the hood flys up like that scene in Tommy Boy and all I can hear is Brian yelling “That’s not good! That’s not good!” No Brian, it wasn’t. I could go on and on about Brian’s automobile misshaps and hijinks:

Like the multiple times he left his beat up Chevy S10 in the CarShow parking lot with the hood popped like some show car while he put in an 8hr shift at Burger King.

Or the time he was driving down a country road in that same S10 and a deer hit HIM.

Or the time he decided it was a good idea to drive THROUGH a construction zone with potholes FEET deep & his headlights off so as not to arouse suspicion. Probably one of the scariest moments in my life..

Or the time I had to take over driving on my first day with a drivers-license because Brian had been pulled over for speeding (again) and was too nervous to drive any further.

Or the time he told me he didn’t want to buy a sporty car like the Subaru STI because he didn’t need to go fast, he wanted luxury, so he went out and bought BMW’s ROADSTER.

But I’m not going to talk about any of that, because I’m supposed to tell you about what a great guy Brian is and tell you about all his magnificent qualities. Brian is Dedicated, Kind, Funny and… what’s this one? … Sorry man, I never could read your writing.

Brian is one of the funniest guys you’ll ever meet, and he has no shame, literally… I don’t know any other guy that is excited to get cat calls while dressed up as Britney spears, wearing his sister’s skirt and a wig walking down Monroe ave.

He’s up for anything, which is exactly how he got so lucky with Kelley. Kelley, I don’t think forcing him to ride the bull for 8 seconds before he’s allowed to talk to you was ever going to stop him. One time he took his pants off in the middle of a bar and traded them with a girl wearing a skirt just so she’d ride the bull.

Brian, Some of us still don’t know how you did it, but you’re a lucky guy and somehow you tricked Kelley into marrying you. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, warm, loving and caring, and she deserves a good husband. Thank God you married her before she found one.

Kelley, it’s funny how history repeats itself isn’t it? 20 some years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy…and now it’s happening all over again

All kidding aside though, I’m Ecstatic for you guys. I want to thank you both for having me be part of your special day. I know Brian couldn’t be happier, I see it in his face every time he looks at Kelley.

So if everyone could raise their glasses in a toast… To Brian and Kelley,

May you have love, health & wealth; but most importantly, may you have the time together to enjoy them all.

Congrats Anthony

Anthony and RoccoMy Friend and Best man in our wedding Anthony graduated with his Masters Degree yesterday.

He’s been in school for a long time, and so upon successful graduation he planned a little shindig last night.  Low key but a blast.

His brother Rocco has been traveling a lot, and was also recently quarantined for swine flu concerns so if I suddenly come down with something…  Anyway, he came back from mexico a short time ago and brought some premium cigars with him.

They were very enjoyable.

Cheers to Anthony, you earned it man.

A Wedding and a Party

My best friend Anthony’s wedding was this weekend and I had the honor of being best man.  One of the biggest (or at least the most stressful) responsibilities of the best man is the toast.  I’ve never had to speak in front of that many people before but I think it went over relatively well.

My Speech:

Ladies and gentlemen, if there’s anybody here this afternoon who’s feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you just got married to Anthony Ventura.

When I sat down to write this thing I had no clue where to start.

Some people tell jokes, but I’m not that funny.
Some people write a poem, but I can’t rhyme.
Some people give advice, but I’ve only been married a year so the only advice I have is to shut up and let her do the talking.

Since I can’t do any of those the best thing I came up with is to tell everyone how I got to know the lovely new Mr & Mrs Ventura.  The only problem is, I’ve known Anthony for so damn long I have no idea how we met.  What I can tell you is a few things that he’s taught me over the years.

I’ve learned that the Ventura’s really know how to raise a son, but I have no idea how they deal with both of them. (Harriet you’re a saint)
I’ve learned that Rollerblading down giant hills can lead to war scars the size of your fist.
I’ve learned that Mascara really does look horrible on a guy (Ask me later, I have pictures).
I’ve learned that transformers and Lego’s are fun to play with at any age, wait no not really.
I’ve learned how good friends stand the test of time.
And I’ve learned that a list like this can go on for days so we’ll just stop here.

The really awesome part of having a friend like Anthony is that every time we see each other, even if its after months or years apart, it’s back to the same old shenanigans, drinking past 2am and befriending trashcans (or toilets).  He’s always only a phone call away any time you need to patch a hole in a wall or get away from your pets for 2 weeks.

I remember the first time I met Meg. It was Anthony’s birthday and he wanted me to come out to MacGregors to meet this stunning girl he had been seeing.  A few Irish Car Bombs later and there we were, 2 country boys and a beautiful blond stuck in front of Deer Hunter the video game.  When Meg proved she had what it takes to kill more Bambies than us I told him:

“Any woman that can shoot a toy gun like that is worth keeping!”

I was right because he’s definitely getting the better end of the deal.  Anthony, you are a lucky groom – you’ve married Meg, who’s beautiful, smart, funny, warm, loving and caring, and she deserves a good husband. Thank God you married her before she found one.

I’ve been told that Meg is good at a lot of things but directions are not one of them.  I don’t know how she found her way to their first date, but I’m pretty sure one of the biggest reasons she keeps him around is because she can’t read a map.  Anthony, whatever you do, don’t buy her a GPS device because she might not need you anymore.

I lied, I do have one small piece of advice. If I have learned anything during the past year it’s this. Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

From the moment I saw them together I could tell that they’re very much in love and would bring each other happiness for years to come.  It was truly an honor for me to be a part of their day.  I would like to propose a toast to the happy couple, wishing them years upon years of blissful happiness. 

To Anthony and Meg…

May your love grow ever stronger as you share your lives together, and may your future be  more wonderful than you dreamed possible.

Thank you Everyone!

One and a half years of planning, four months of frenzy, a one day celebration and 2 weeks of relaxation… We did it!

Life as a married couple has been good to us so far. We’d just like to say a final thanks to everyone who made our wedding the most beautiful and blissful day a couple could wish for. Not to mention all the fun we had! We couldn’t ask for a better start to a long happy life together.

Special thanks go out to:

The Parents, without your love and support we wouldn’t have been able to do it at all

The Bridal Party Consisting of:

  • Lisa Jordan – Maid of Honor
  • Anthony Ventura – Best Man
  • Lisa Day
  • Miriam Cortez
  • Tess Hey
  • Jennifer Lehr
  • Brian Wilson
  • Charles Rich
  • Michael Heath
  • George Heath Jr

Claire Masten for her touching reading from 1st Corinthians

Elizabeth Fino-Radin from The Starry Strings Quartet for the beautiful violin

Annette Dragon for all the beautiful photography

Whirlin’ Disc DJ for getting everyone on the dance floor

Mike from The Burgundy Basin for making sure everything went smoothly

Phaedra Andalora from Liberty Travel for putting together our Honeymoon